oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
