You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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