U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
