im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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