Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
