Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize