I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
