remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
