Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize