his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
