I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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