I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
