i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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