I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
His nipple licking is glorious
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