I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
