Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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