i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
