If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
