I think i sorta joined a cult last night
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
