I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
