it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
