walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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