i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
FUCK WHALES
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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