yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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