I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
