he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
