So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
