physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
