Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize