and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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