She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
That was before I lit my hair on fire
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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