So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize