I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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