I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We don't watch enough power rangers
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
