and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
