wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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