Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
