Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
