I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
