New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
