"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Randomize
