are you still at the devil's house?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
