So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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