I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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