"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
