i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
