Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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