I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
