So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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