I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
