Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
