i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
