So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
