Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My vagina just clenched in fear
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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