I must be too annoying 4 u.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
