i think i have herpe
just one?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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