Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
