so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize